20 Funny Dedications

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Stephen Fry,The Liar

1. To President Woodrow Wilson, from his only Vice.

– Dedication inVice President Tom Marshall’s memoir

2.Hi Dad! *waves*

–Kiera Cass,The Selection

3. I should be remiss, indeed, if I failed to acknowledge my indebtedness to the People’s Bank ofBridgeport, the Connecticut Lightand Power Co., the New England Telephone Co., Sears Roebuck,Casey Fuel, the West Redding Market, the Internal Revenue Department, and another creditorwhose name is Morris H. Legion. The total is$17,886.05. Hi, Fellows!

– Carl Winston, How to Turn a Million into a Shoestring

4.”To my daughter Leonora, without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time.”

– P. G. Wodehouse, The Heart of a Goof

5. To my wife Marganit and my children Ella Rose and Daniel Adam without whom this book would have been completed two years earlier.

– Joseph J. Rotman, An…

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Why Earthquakes in Idaho are Ultra-Spiritual

My homage and parody for His Enlightenedness, Ultra Spiritual JP Sears.


Recent earthquakes in Idaho have proven that the Earth has a spirit and it’s really upset. Science has proven the Earth has a spirit it is called Gaia, and it is ultra-spiritual.  Like all spiritual beings it has to be realigned from time to time.

Here some facts that prove my hypotheses, or is it a theory, or my philosophy? Anyway are here are some facts Idaho people:

Idaho is the 43rd state and it became a state in 1890.  This weekend they have had 80 earthquakes in 3 days, you do the math I don’t think that is a coincidence.

Because earthquakes don’t happen on other planets then logic dictates the earthquakes must be happening on our planet because humans are here.

potato-wcertified-logo_medium.png__1920x1920_q85_subsampling-2Why are there so many earthquakes in Idaho?   Because Idaho grows potatoes and potatoes have carbs.  Carbs are bad for you and bad for the earth.  Also Idaho has cattle and cows.  This non-vegan lifestyle is why the Earth is rejecting Idaho.

 

Maybe the Earth has diabetes.  Instead of drilling things out of the Earth we need to pump insulin into the Earth to even out the Earths’ keystones.

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Even though recent earthquakes in Idaho are caused because of potato farming, other states have violated Gaia by fracking.  Fracking is only okay if it is consensual.  I think Gaia said no, and no means no, not yes.

The best earthquakes are probably in California and that’s because California is in need of spiritual healing unlike Idaho who just needs to go on a diet and live superficial lives.

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Even though we are destroying the Earth we are also trying to get off the Earth and go to other planets. This is sending Gaia mixed messages and that’s why she’s reacting so poorly.  The Earth is actually co-depend it hurts her feelings when we try to leave.

 

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So to sum up.

Idaho stop fracking and eating carbs.  If you do that you’ll have less earthquakes.


 

Brought to you by .com Cowboy.

Remember the laugh track is in your imagination:newlogo-b

What is .com Cowboy? Learn more here

To see my first blogisode at www.hackingfailure.com under the .com Cowboy link.

 

Why do you need to fail ?

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This is something that always keeps me motivated no matter how bad my day has been. Life is going to be cruel at times..it is going to knock you down real bad..bitter truth, isn’t it? We will encounter failures more often than we’ll encounter success..we’ll have to see sadness and despair again and again and again. BUT, just because you failed at something, doesn’t mean you’ll fail in everything !

How I deal with failures ?

I mourn over it for two days or maybe three. Then I move on. I never let it stay with me for more than 3 days.

When life hits you hard, hit back harder !

IDENTIFY YOUR STRENGTHS- Each one of us has different calibre and different potentials. Thinking that achieving the same goal in the same time with the same approach is vague. Unacceptable. Unrealistic.

For example- Take the five fingers in…

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Who is Stetson Roundy?

The Contingent Cast of .Com Cowboy:

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Why I wanted Luke Hemsworth to play the role of Stetson Roundy?

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Who is Stetson Roundy: Atypical cowboy from Wyoming but he hides it well.  With a college degree in business and 10 years’ experience running his father’s cattle ranch he does know a thing or two and solves problem with good old horse sense, humor and strong belief in people.  Stetson has lived off the grid for most of his life and doesn’t know a lot about technology.  Stetson hasn’t had much exposure to mass media and the LA culture.

Think Jed Clampett from The Beverly Hillbillies sitcom and self-help guru Tony Robins.

You really can’t cast Stetson Roundy without thinking about the Beth Comstock character.  There will be a cold detente between these two characters in season one and then they will warm up to each other.

Luke has an impressive resume:

Luke Hemsworth is known for his work on Infini (2015), Kill Me Three Times (2014) and The Anomaly (2014). Of course you can’t help but mention that his is the older brother of Chris Hemsworth and Liam Hemsworth.

Other actors that are still in the running:

 

Jesse

Jesse Bradford

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Kip Pardue

matt

Matt Lanter

 

Learn more about .com Cowboy

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Experience Episode 1.  Remember the laugh track is in your imagination.

 

Why Iceland is Ultra Spiritual

Script proposal and homage for His Enlightenedness, Ultra Spiritual JP Sears

 

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I recently learned the hottest vacation spot is actually the coldest, I’m talking about Iceland. See what I just did there, very clever.  Not only can you visit Iceland but everyone on the planet has either gone there or is planning a trip to Iceland.  According to the internet, travel to Iceland has increased 30 percent each year since 2002. 

In fact, before 2002, Iceland hadn’t even been discovered. That’s what is so exciting about Iceland, it’s the last place to be discovered in the world.

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Here are some reasons why Iceland is the best place to visit before it gets to trendy and is overrun by tourist.

First there is ice.  You can’t get ice in places like Hawaii or Arizona.

NFL: Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay PackersIceland was established by Vikings and there’s really no other place to see Vikings unless you’re in Minnesota. 

 

 

 

 

Iceland has impressive majestic views that can help you get in touch with your inner Viking. 

 

 

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 There is literally no other place to get views like this other than Iceland.

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You can’t see waterfalls like this anywhere else.

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You can’t see whales like this anywhere else.

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And you can’t see the Northern Lights anywhere near the equator and that makes Iceland the only place to see the Northern Lights.

I do have one fact to correct that I saw on a website about Iceland.  I think it undisputed that ice caves only exist in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.  I think the Iceland travel bureau went a bit too far in photoshoping their ice caves.

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I think the ice caves in Iceland really look like this.  Good luck Luke, use the force.

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Iceland has volcanos. You can get volcanos and ice in the same sentence without thinking about Iceland and volcanos.

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Iceland is an island. With global warming there really aren’t that many islands left, so you should book your travel soon before it’s gone.  In fact, Gillian’s Island is now gone because of global warning.

Iceland is really the most beautiful place on earth. 

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Other places like Africa and Asia don’t have diverse geography like Iceland.

The most important part of any culture is the food.  Iceland has new and unusual foods that are culturally diverse and equally offensive to most Americans.  A real win win for Iceland.

Sure you can get food almost any ware if you have money, but I can’t walk into a grocery store in America and get Iceland food!

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Next time you’re in a supermarket ask the meat department if they have sheep’s head.  Good luck buddy, it isn’t not going to happen.  Only in Iceland can you be grossed out by a sheep’s head on your plate. 

And that makes you a better person.

There are literally no other places on earth where you can experience diverse foods like the food in Iceland.

One interesting fact about Iceland other than in 2010 Iceland banned strip clubs, is that HBO’s Game of Thrones did all of their filming in Iceland.  

The reason is simple, Iceland has White Walkers and that’s why HBO came to film here.  CGI ice people are really too expensive to create.   HBO can’t afford that level of production value for an insignificant series like Game of Thrones.

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The most important reason to go to Iceland is to feel superior to others that haven’t gone to Iceland. Bragging to your friends about your trip to Iceland will make you feel better about yourself.  Iceland is not just a vacation spot it is a movement.  A lot of young and trendy people are going to Iceland and if you’re not one of those, then it is my responsibility to make your feel bad about that.

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In fact the motto of the Iceland Travel Bureau is:  If we build it people will come. And if you don’t come to Iceland you’re a loser.

 

 

 

asian-tigerThe second most important reason to go to Iceland is that mosquitoes do not exist in Iceland.

 

 

 

 

I hope you have fun on your trip to Iceland and I hope you tell me all about it. 

 

 Shameless plug:

If you like this blog check out a new kind of blog.  It is called a Sitcom Blog.  Find out about in on www.hackingfailure.com by clicking the .com Cowboy link.

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Realistic Thinking: Change Your Mindset — Jay Colby

We’ve all have had conversations with ourselves about if our dreams are realistic or are we somewhere in the clouds thinking we can ever achieve them. This is usually when what I like to call the “maybe thoughts” creep into our mind. Then we start thinking things like “maybe I should have a backup plan […]

via Realistic Thinking: Change Your Mindset — Jay Colby

Can Praise Set You Up to For Failure?

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Why is the right kind of praise so important?

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Developmental Psychologist and Stanford University Professor Carol Dweck. Her research indicates that too much praise can make your child fear failure or not work hard enough, and she suggests it’s better to praise effort such as “hard work” or “strategy” and not genetic attributes like intelligence.

 mindsetDweck has closely looked at the impact of praise, specifically the type of praise that learners receive. Her research has shown that praise linked to reassuring learners about their intelligence or talent is detrimental to their view about their abilities. It reinforces (fixed mindset) ideas that their achievements are a consequence of IQ or other finite innate ability. In Dweck’s work it led to students worrying that future tests might reveal their shortcomings, and that challenges were to be avoided as, again, struggling demonstrated that they weren’t really as smart as their teachers had believed.  Dweck’s research has demonstrated the importance of praise that recognizes effort. Praise that acknowledges process related activities such as practice, study, persistence and good strategies are proven to instill and develop a growth mindset in learners.

 

Dweck believes the best managers are those with a growth mindset — those who believe in their ability to change and a conviction that learning it the way forward.

Organizations can have fixed mindsets, too — and in the war for talent, those that do are losing out on great people, said Huysse. As Dweck pointed out, trusting in the value of hard work and effort is not just a stronger predictor of success, but a much more powerful motivator.

“A fixed mindset doesn’t tell you what to do next,” said Dweck. “It provides no recipe for recovering from failures,” which makes it tough to take on new challenges where stumbling is possible or even likely.

At the core of a growth mindset on talent is neuroplasticity — the ability of the brain to reorganize itself with learning. It requires not just working at what you know, but pushing past into areas that stretch your knowledge and skills. A favorite quote of Dweck’s: “Anyone who’s never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

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Mindsets are transmitted in an organization through a shared understanding of what’s valued: being right or being open to learning. “We are very tuned in to messages about what will make people like and admire us. We’re wired to pick this up,” said Dweck. Praise for intelligence instead of praise for effort sends the wrong message. People who are praised for being smart “don’t want to risk their newly minted genius status,” and that fosters static, rigid organizations. Praise for effort keeps people engaged and willing to work hard.

 Try this:

  • Instead of “person praise” (e.g., “You are creative”), offer “process praise”:
  • Praise the strategy (e.g., “You found a really good way to do it.”)
  • Praise with specificity (e.g., “You seem to really understand fractions.”)
  • Praise effort (e.g., “I can tell you’ve been practicing.”)
  • Keep it real: Don’t say, “Good job!” when it’s not.

 If you want to learn how to create learning strategies for success click here to subscribe  for in-depth content and special offers.

 References:

 

http://www.blogher.com/node/16010

 http://www.teachit.so/mindset.htm

 https://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2014/03/28/the-difference-between-praise-and-feedback/

 https://www.tes.com/news/school-news/breaking-views/praise-effort-not-outcome-think-again

 https://hbr.org/2011/11/praise-leads-to-cheating

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/renee-jain/praising-kids_b_5272483.html

 

 #hackingfailure

 

 

How Failure In Q1 Can Be A Good Thing!

Astro Teller is an entrepreneur, inventor, and author.  He worked as the “Captain of Moonshots” for X -formerly called Google X.

He reveals the secret of their success.  “We spend most of our time breaking things and trying to prove that we’re wrong. That’s it, that’s the secret. Run at all the hardest parts of the problem first. The only way to get people to work on big, risky things — audacious ideas — and have them run at all the hardest parts of the problem first, [and you do this by making] that the path of least resistance for them.” And Google X does this by making it safe to fail.

According to Teller: “Teams kill their ideas as soon as the evidence is on the table because they’re rewarded for it. They get applause from their peers. Hugs and high fives from their manager, me in particular. They get promoted for it. We have bonused every single person on teams that ended their projects”

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Your corporation probably has big ideas, big plans and big goals for 2017.

My advice, seek failure, fail fast and learn from it.  The more projects or ideas that you can prove wrong (not viable business endeavors /investments) in Q1 the better your company will be in Q4.

Most companies percolate ideas and project throughout the year and arrive at somewhat obvious conclusions too late and thus are unable to pivot to a better ideas before the year ends…

Read more about failure in Q1 on www.hackingfailure.com


-Shane Lester, Author of Hacking Failure

Learn more about Hacking Failure

If you want to learn how to create learning strategies for success click here to subscribe  for in-depth content and special offers.

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How to not fail at your fitness goals next year.

A recent study finds 73% of people who set fitness goals as new year’s resolutions give them up before the end of the year.

Experts say the reason for these failures is that many of us lack the proper structure to support the behavioral changes our new goals require.

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With these odds, setting goals seems like a losing proposition and there are also some unintended consequences of goal setting.

This validates Scott Adams book How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big”, in which he declared that “goals are for loser and systems are for winners

“Goal-oriented people exist in a state of nearly continuous failure that they hope will be temporary. That feeling wears on you.

Goal-oriented people exist in a state of continuous presuccess failure at best, and permanent failure at worst if things never work out. Systems people succeed every time they apply their systems, in the sense that they did what they intended to do. The goals people are fighting the feeling of discouragement at each turn. The systems people are feeling good every time they apply their system. That’s a big difference in terms of maintaining your personal energy in the right direction.”

Does this explain why so many goals drop off our radar?

In a study published in the British Journal of Health Psychology, researchers measured how frequently people exercised over a 2–week period.

The researchers started by randomly assigning 248 adults to one of three groups.

Group 1 was the control group. They were asked to keep track of how frequently they exercised over the next two weeks. Before they left, each person was asked to read the opening three paragraphs of an unrelated novel.

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Group 2 was the motivation group. They were also asked to keep track of how frequently they exercised over the next two weeks. Then, each person was asked to read a pamphlet on the benefits of exercise for reducing the risk of heart disease. Participants in Group 2 were also told, “Most young adults who have stuck to a regular exercise program have found it to be very effective in reducing their chances of developing coronary heart disease.”

The goal of these actions was to motivate Group 2 to exercise regularly.

Group 3 was the intention group. After being told to track their exercise, they also read the motivational pamphlet and got the same speech as Group 2. This was done to ensure that Group 2 and Group 3 were equally motivated.

Unlike Group 2, however, they were also asked to formulate a plan for when and where they would exercise over the following week. Specifically, each person in Group 3 was asked to explicitly state their intention to exercise by completing the following statement…

During the next week, I will partake in at least 20 minutes of vigorous exercise on [DAY] at [TIME OF DAY] at/in [PLACE].

After receiving these instructions, all three groups left.

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Two weeks later, the researchers were surprised by what had happened in the three groups.

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In the control group (group 1), 38% of participants exercised at least once per week.

In the motivation group (group 2), 35% of participants exercised at least once per week.

In the intention group (group 3), an incredible 91% of participants exercised at least once per week.

Simply by writing down a plan that said exactly when and where they intended to exercise, the participants in Group 3 were much more likely to actually follow through.

The researchers discovered that what pulls that desire out of you and turns it into real–world action isn’t your level of motivation, but rather your plan for implementation.

In fact, over 100 separate studies in a wide range of experimental situations have come to the same conclusion: people who explicitly state when and where their new behaviors are going to happen are much more likely to stick to their goals.

Going parallel to this research is convention wisdom and years of goal setting mantras.  For example ACE fitness recommends SMART goals and the following guidelines:

  • Your goal should be specific, clear and easy to understand. 
  • Your goal should be measurable.
  • Your goal should be attainable.
  • Your goal should be time-bound.

Looking more like a system is what Men’s Fitness recommends in 7 steps:

  1. Start Now
  2. Define What You Want
  3. Goals must be measurable, attainable and timed
  4. Acknowledge the Hurdles:
  5. Make Sacrifices
  6. Make Your Goal Public
  7. Take Action, Every Day

A systems approach is implied by many in the fitness domain.  However, the emphasis is still heavy on goals setting.  Even though SMART goals and 7 steps look like a system it is still heavy on the goal part.    

I’m not suggesting that you not set goals.  I am recommending that you hack the potential of failure by setting up systems that will support your goals. I agree that it takes goals to achieve.  I also believe that our focus on systems should be higher than our goals.

Systems that are maintained through evaluation, with a mechanism for an objective interpretation of failure.  Consider systems when you set your fitness goals for next year to increase your chances of not being in the 73% that give up in the New Year.

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.#hackingfailure

Learn more about Hacking Failure

If you want to learn from your failures click here to subscribe to my blog for in-depth content.   


Shane Lester

Author pages:

Learn more about systems vs. goals through my books.

The Value of Failure  will help you embrace failure and learn from it. 

Hacking Failure is a system that will help you pivot from mistakes and shortcut to success.

bothbooks

Buy both now on Amazon for $3 bucks.

 

 

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